Hernoor, who is just one girl among four female siblings had her mother participate in all the rituals that are performed by men on the bride’s side.
Many young girls look up to their headstrong mothers for inspiration. These mothers often determine what kind of women their daughters will grow up to be and what kind of role they will play in society and their family environment.
Last week, Hernoor Grewal shared a picture of her mother performing the marriage rituals at her wedding – rituals like “giving the daughter away” that are usually performed by men. Hernoor is one of five female siblings.
In the post, which was shared 18,000+ times, Hernoor said, “I am 1 of 5 girls, we don’t have a brother and our Dad left the scene some years ago. If your father isn’t present at your wedding, it’s expected that you will find some other suitable male to take part. When my dad left, the community were quick to blame our Mum entirely. Similarly, my sisters and I have had to endure a life time of “don’t worry, maybe you’ll be blessed with a brother in your next life” type comments. This treatment culminated in a family being uninterested in having my sister’s hand in marriage for their son on the basis that our family had too many girls.”
She goes on to talk about how her mother was determined to raise her daughters independently and how she put on a strong face to deal with the taunts of people from her community. In an interview with BBC radio, Hernoor also said, “I don’t look at it is an act of rebellion because it was her duty, since she raised us. And if we think our society is evolving, then we should take the culture as it exists and alter it to fit the modern society.”
Hernoor Grewal says we need to ‘update’ outdated traditions and cultures to ensure equality for women in weddings @BBCRadioLondon pic.twitter.com/0mvit6Gm5K
— Sunny and Shay (@SunnyandShay) October 10, 2016
This picture was originally shared on Pink Ladoo, which is a non-profit organisation that works to eradicate gender biases in South Asian cultures. To know more, visit their Facebook page.