We’ve all had moments where life seems a bit too overwhelming. Some of us take to food to cope, and some indulge in other things — alcohol, drugs, a sedentary lifestyle and more. Aditya Verma (32), a former banker, also went through these motions but decided to make a few changes.

In a Twitter thread that has since gone viral, he shared what he did to pull himself out of a rut, and what lessons he learned alongside. The thread has received more than 15,000 likes and 4000+ retweets.

At 32 years old, I was depressed, addicted and always anxious:
• Stuck in a job I hated
• PS4 and Netflix for hours
• Drinking and eating my way to diabetes

It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Here’s my story (and some hard lessons I’ve learned): pic.twitter.com/p84TykjlLq

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

Aditya was an investment banker for nine years, and says he was depressed, anxious, and addicted. Due to his lifestyle, he was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, but says this was the best thing that could ever happen to him.

He says that between 2018 and 2022, he had a “full-blown meltdown”, adding that he fell into a “victim mentality”, which he says is akin to a disease. He says he was “feeling helpless”, “constantly complaining”, and “blaming everything and everyone”.

In the next few tweets, he goes on to talk about how sometimes, you need a slap in the face, and to realise that you are too comfortable.

“In the trenches,” he wrote, “every day felt like a year. But only 1.5 years later, I don’t recognise my life, myself, and don’t believe it often.”

Here are 13 life lessons Aditya learned in the last year or so:

1. “Victim mentality is a disease.”

Aditya says he was a “textbook victim”, but no longer relates to that version of himself. “Radical responsibility will set you free,” he says.

1) Victim mentality is a disease
I was a textbook victim:

• Feeling helpless
• Constantly complaining
• Blaming everything & everyone

I don’t relate to that person anymore. Haven’t complained in 1.5 years now. Don’t plan to resume.

Radical responsibility will set you free.

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

2. “Sometimes, you need a slap in the face.”

He says that he was caught in a “self-sabotaging loop” and decided to change when his health and marriage began deteriorating.

3. “You’re too comfortable.”

Drawing from his journey of being a “pleasure-seeking junkie” to doing “hard” things, he says that one must move out of their comfort zone. He says doing hard things “makes life easier”.

4. “You can only control yourself.”

Aditya says he was constantly blaming others — his job, his boss, his stress — but now only looks at the things he can control.

4) You can only control yourself
I was constantly blaming others:

• Job
• Boss
• Stress

But now I control:

• My actions
• My thoughts
• My reactions

It’s hard. But there’s no other way.

So turn that finger and point it towards yourself. Then keep it there.

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

5. “You’re killing yourself slowly.”

He recalls a time when he was weak and had brain fog, unable to exercise at all, leading to pre-diabetes and aching lungs. But now, he has included physical activity in his schedule, and says he is “in [his] best shape ever”.

6. “Seek help.”

He admits that seeking help can be scary, and for a long time, he tried to do everything himself. But the decision to take therapy changed everything, he notes.

6) Seek help
I tried & failed with every trick in the book:

• Self-help
• Meditation
• Journalling

But everything changed when I started therapy.

It was scary. I’d avoided it for years. Trying to “figure it out”.

But you don’t need to. Seek help, cause only the brave do.

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

7. “Spend time with yourself.”

Aditya embraced his own company. He learned how to be alone and to not delve in distractions all the time. “Your mind is screaming for a reason. Pay attention,” he says.

8. “Be grateful.”

He says he went from having a “cynical” and “glass half empty” attitude to one that encouraged gratitude — by maintaining a journal, “rewiring” his brain, and embracing abundance.

9. “Love yourself first.”

He also says that from hating his own reflection and believing himself to be weak, he began feeling proud of taking charge of his life. “Love yourself first. If you can’t, why should someone else?”

10. “Stop chasing happiness, focus on being less miserable.”

Miserable due to his 14-hour work days and taking to excessive drinking and online gaming to cope, Aditya, put his foot down by quitting his job and selling his PS4. “Elimination is powerful,” he notes.

10) Stop chasing happiness, focus on being less miserable
Things that made me miserable:

• 14 hrs workday stress
• Binge drinking every Friday
• Wasting days playing video games

So I eliminated them:

• Quit my job
• No drinking
• Sold my PS4

Elimination is powerful.

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

11. “We’re all gonna die.”

We all think we have all the time in the world, that there’s always tomorrow, but does time slow down for anyone? Aditya decided to stop waiting for tomorrow and focus on quality family time and hard work, he says.

12. “Fear is a signal.”

Stepping out of his comfort zone, he decided to face his fears head on. He quit the job he hated, and decided to do what he loved most — write.

12) Fear is a signal
I was a coward:

• Stuck in my comfort zone
• Protecting my bubble
• Suffocating inside

In the past 7 months, I’ve:

• Quit my job
• Written for 200+ days
• Exploring self-employment

Look your fears in the face. Then laugh and do it anyway.

— Adi Verma (@adityatheverma) July 2, 2022

13. “It’ll feel longer than it is.”

“Aditya says he doesn’t recognise the past version of himself, and sometimes finds it hard to believe how far he has come.

He ends his thread with a quote that says — “We have two lives, and the second one begins when we realise we only have one.”

You can read the full thread here.

Edited by Divya Sethu

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