No one questions the different standards that are set for boys or girls, and continue to follow them blindly.
Patriarchy often shows its colour in various forms. Sometimes it is a blatant “girls should not (insert activity of choice)” and sometimes it is very subtle, almost invisible.
And then, in some families and some parts of the society, patriarchy wears the veil of normalcy. No one questions the different standards that are set for boys or girls, and continue to follow them blindly.
Jaseena Backer, a psychologist and gender expert, had such a conversation with her domestic help one day.
The help was blaming her daughter-in-law for being an “inadequate” wife because she could not stop her husband’s drinking habits.
To Jaseena, this was a part of a much larger picture—that of bringing up boys and girls in a completely different fashion. It was even larger than letting the boys enjoy uninhibited freedom while restricting girls.
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“The Indian society has spent centuries grooming young girls to be future good wives (sanskaari bahus), yet fails to produce good husbands who deserve them. This makes these girls grow up to feel that they have to cater to childish, juvenile behaviour in their marriages,” Jaseena says in her post.
Read the full story about Jaseena’s take on why girls should not be raised as future wives here.
(Edited by Gayatri Mishra)